Prominent Yoga Teachers share personal stories of sexual abuse. Whether you’ve been personally affected or simply want to do what you can to help, here’s a place to start.
By Yoga Journal Staff
This article was published in 2018.
Mary Taylor ( Ashtanga Yoga Teacher and Former co-owner of the Yoga Workshop)
In light of the recent discussion around issues of sexual abuse and harassment that has swept the entertainment, political, and now yoga worlds, I find myself heaving a huge sigh of relief. As a woman who has had her own harrowing experiences with male abuse of power, sexual assault, rape, and betrayal of intimacy over the years, I’m relieved that these issues are no longer taboo to discuss.
But I am also filled with sadness. I’m sad that we, as a species, have treated each other with such callousness for thousands of years. I’m sad that I have not always known how to speak up, how to stand up in my own defense, or how to take action in the defense of others. There is something particularly foul about sexual misconduct in the context of yoga. Yoga is a path of insight into the roots of decency and desire—into both the glorious and shadow sides of human nature. There is a deeply personal and, for many, an intimately spiritual aspect to yoga. Students often come to yoga in a vulnerable position, pursuing balance, calm, and a clarity of mind. When a yoga teacher sexually abuses a student, it is not only hypocritical, but also incredibly damaging to the student and the tradition. This kind of behavior can throw sincere and innocent students off the path for years, if not lifetimes. It is tragic. Yet sexual misconduct within the yoga world is common.
In fact, it is well documented that my own teacher, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, whom I love dearly, had certain “adjustments” that he gave to female students that were invasive. Many of these adjustments were sexually inappropriate, and I wish he had never done them. On some level, I also wish that I had spoken publicly about them before now. Yet these adjustments were confusing, and not in alignment with all the other aspects of Jois that I knew, so I didn’t know how to talk about them without disparaging the entire system.
This has been a confusing part of my relationship with my teacher and the yoga community as a whole. Why did he do this? Why didn’t I speak up about the inappropriateness of his assists? Why didn’t others? Why didn’t I make it my mission to expose his wrongdoings as a demonstration of an irreparable flaw in the Ashtanga system?
First and foremost, I still think Ashtanga is a remarkable system of learning and transformation. It is a system of practice that has worked for me and many other students over the years. I do not see Jois’s behavior as a flaw in the system, but a flaw in the man. I think this is part of the reason why, until now, I have only spoken privately to students who ask about this. I have such deep love for the practice—a practice that has saved my life.
When I take a step back and turn my gaze to the future, I see an opportunity for deeper contemplation and an imperative to stay authentic, honest, and real. There is a burning need to question and to look ever deeper at ourselves, our teachers, and the yogic traditions we love in order to find the seeds of truth that lie within. When we place teachers on a pedestal (or, as teachers, when we allow students to put us on one), honest inquiry becomes impossible, and the deep contemplative insight and compassion that is at the heart of yoga may never arise. If the ground of the inquiring mind becomes eroded, then deeply destructive things—like sexual misconduct—find an environment in which to thrive.
Today things have changed. The accounts of sexual misconduct that at one time might have been dismissed are now being met with open minds, support, kindness, and respect.
Judith Hanson Lasater (Restorative Yoga and Applied Anatomy Teacher and Former Yoga Journal Editor)
I’ve had many instances of #metoo, all the way up to attempted rape. But in the yoga context, I’ve only had one. And that was with Pattabhi Jois. At some point in the late 1990s, he came to San Francisco to teach. We were doing drop-backs from Tadasana (Mountain Pose) to Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel Pose). He came over to help me and put his pubic bone against my pubic bone, so I could feel him completely. He had me do three or four drop-backs, and when I came up after the last one, I looked around and saw three of my students, who were in the class with me, looking at me, mouths hanging open.
What happened for me is what I think happens for so many women: I was so shocked that the first thing I did was doubt myself. Did that really just happen? I wondered, silently. The part that I regret is that I didn’t leave. I stayed in the class. The next thing Jois asked me to do was something I thought was physically dangerous for my knees. I just said, “Namaste; no Guruji, no.” And he hit me on the head and said, “Bad lady.”
That was the last time I saw him. It was only years later, when pictures and videos of him assisting women became public, that I recognized that what he was doing was sexual assault. I thought That’s what happened to me. For a long time, I had just brushed it under the carpet, where I had brushed all the other instances. At the time, my context of a male teacher was B.K.S. Iyengar, who never did anything like that. So I was trusting. I believed, and still believe, the yoga studio and yoga mat are sacred spaces. That’s why crossing this boundary in class is a double-whammy upset for women.
Now I make my students repeat this mantra: “Trust yourself first.” I ask them to repeat it frequently. And we talk about what it means: that we all need to listen to our gut, to pay attention to the deep visceral feelings that are arising from our inner wisdom and never to disregard them. In our culture, women are trained to ignore their intuition for a host of twisted reasons: We fear it’ll make us seem impolite or ridiculous. We tell ourselves, “It couldn’t be true, because I know this person well.” If this is you, start flexing your intuition muscle in less risky circumstances, like shopping for new tires. When you walk into the store, slow down and see what your belly says, then immediately act on it. This will help you say “no” when something doesn’t feel right in yoga.
Alanna Zabel ( Founder of Aziam Yoga and Creator of Yoga Barre)
Years ago I developed a passionate relationship with a fellow yoga instructor. I’ll call him Rick. At first, I was shy and avoided Rick’s advances—but I was also enamored by the energy and attention that he was lavishing on me. He was a revered teacher, and he was interested in me. I was hooked.
In class, Rick would often hover around my mat, caressing my body sensually when he was making “adjustments.” At first, I found it flattering, but I didn’t have the confidence and maturity to separate my youthful desire for attention from my logical understanding of power abuse. The connection turned me on, despite the fact that I always left his yoga classes feeling empty and confused.
Rick became increasingly sexual with me in class, almost as if he didn’t care that other students were there. When I was in Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle Pose), his hands would slip to my crotch; in Revolved Triangle, one hand caressed my butt and the other was on my chest. My attraction and excitement around him eventually morphed into confusion and fear. Gradually when he made these advances toward me, I froze and became very awkward. Rick rolled his eyes and brushed me off, doing his best to make me feel bad for my reaction— shaming me for not responding in the way he wanted me to. It became clear to to me that conscious intimacy, mutual understanding, and my consent to his groping were all missing.
One day, I decided I was done. Done with this silent game of power and control. Done feeling awkward around him when he’d shame me for not accepting his advances. Done watching him take no accountability for his actions. Before class that day, I made it clear that I didn’t want him to touch me—that I wasn’t interested anymore. Halfway through that practice, while I was in Headstand at the front of my mat, he pushed me over. Then he threw my mat out the window and told me to leave.
With time and deep self-reflection, I have found compassion in deeply meaningful ways. I’m so grateful that we’re collectively having these conversations now. Talking about past— and present—inappropriate behavior is part of our practice today. The more all of us— teachers, students, women, and men—can see that, the more we’ll be able to co-create a clear path forward.
Excerpted from Meaningful Coincidence: Synchronistic Stories of the Soul by Alanna Zabel (AZIAM Books, 2017)
Whats Next? – Advice from the experts on how to navigate turbulent waters.
As news of sexual misconduct, rolls out on a seemingly continuous basis—including reports of wrongdoing in the yoga world—yogis everywhere have been disheartened, if not surprised. We’ve known, after all, that the yoga world is not immune to horrible abuses of power—from inappropriate assists from Ashtanga Yoga founder Sri K. Pattabhi Jois to rape accusations against Bikram Choudhury. “A simple web search will reveal that almost every major tradition in modern yoga has at least some experience with alleged sexual misconduct,” says David Lipsius, the recently appointed president and CEO of Yoga Alliance.
But the volume of stories and allegations exploded late last year when yoga teacher and entrepreneur Rachel Brathen (aka @yoga_girl) shared her own non-yoga–related #metoo story—and then started hearing from yogis around the world about sexual abuse, harassment, and assault they had experienced during classes, at their neighborhood studios, and at yoga festivals and other events. Within a week of speaking out, Brathen had collected stories from more than 300 yogis, many angry and confused about what had happened to them. “I was fielding questions like, ‘Are you supposed to have your breasts adjusted in Savasana (Corpse Pose)?’” says Brathen.
Overwhelmed by the outpouring—and committed to doing something about it—Brathen selected 31 excerpts (with consent) to share on her blog, stripping out the names of the victims and the accused. The accounts of misconduct varied—from out-of-line adjustments and being propositioned for sex to being aggressively or violently assaulted. Yet almost all these stories shared a common thread: The What’s Next Advice from the experts on how to navigate turbulent waters, victims were shocked to be violated by members of the yoga community, in what they thought was a sacred, protected place. “There’s an extra level of betrayal in having someone treat you in a disrespectful and unsafe way in what should be a safe space,” says Peg Shippert, MA, LPC, a licensed professional counselor in Boulder, Colorado, who specializes in working with victims of sexual misconduct.
Judith Hanson Lasater, PhD, who has taught yoga since 1971, agrees: “In the context of a yoga class, I was dumbstruck that [sexual misconduct] would happen, and it totally immobilized me. I thought of a yoga class almost like going to church, and the thought of that happening was not something I had ever even conceived of.” Dacher Keltner, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, yogi, and author of The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence, adds that unfortunately, there has been a long history of abuse of power in spiritual communities in general. “Think of the women who killed for Charles Manson, the abuse of priests in the Catholic church, or the tradition of polygamy in strict religious communities,” he says. “Spiritual settings create a structure that is ripe for the opportunity for seduction.”
Yoga is no exception. “The paradox of teaching yoga is that it is all about relationships: The student needs to yield to the teacher, to be receptive,” says Lasater. “That said, students also need to be very aware that they still have power in every situation.” On the opposite side of the same coin, teachers must be aware of what students are projecting on them. “We all get triggered,” says Annie Carpenter, a longtime yoga teacher who has a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling. “This is where you have to do klesha work and ask yourself, ‘What does my ego want?’ If you’re a teacher, will your students project onto you that you’re a healer or a sexy yoga teacher? Or will you imagine, or even hope, they do? You have to know how to respond to those types of projections that will inevitably happen.”
The bottom line: We need to look at these issues and talk about them—even though the topic can be difficult, says Elizabeth Jeglic, PhD, a professor of psychology at New York City’s John Jay College of Criminal Justice, whose research focuses on sexual violence prevention. “We’re still navigating the best way to respond to these things,” says Jeglic. “But overall, the more we can share—with each other and with authorities—the more helpful it will be in how we all proceed.”
When Brathen posted #metoo stories last year she wrote: “I hope that shedding light on this issue will [contribute] to some sort of change.” And it already has. In cases where multiple women have spoken up about the same yoga teacher, Brathen connected the women (with consent) to the media and with each other to see if, as individuals or a group, they wanted to publicly reveal the teacher’s name or take legal action.
Before Brathen’s post, Yoga Alliance— a nonprofit teacher and studio registry— had already put into motion an ethics and conduct committee as part of its standards review project. Lipsius, also the former CEO of the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, says the new administration at Yoga Alliance is determined to take on the issue of sexual harassment and abuse in the yoga community. “I personally have witnessed the devastating effects of abuse in a yoga community and know that the after-effects may linger even decades after the alleged abuser is removed,” he says. “The simple fact is those who commit crimes must be held accountable. There’s no excuse for sexual misconduct or abuse of power in a yoga studio, ashram, festival, or any other venue.”
In Singapore, the Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) has safe, free and confidential services for those who have faced sexual assault and/or sexual harassment. You can call, whatsapp, email (sacc@awarer.org.sg) or visit them if you need help or feel unsure about a sexual encounter.
This article was first published in the print edition of Yoga Journal Singapore, which is now Yogahood Online.
